Smart little filly, Lulu, in the foreground with N. Hormonal grand-dam in the background by the name of Satin.

And, yes, among the many other things being done - better fencing is being installed by myself and the kids. That right there should let you see why it will take awhile.

So I am not really sure how many people's days start and end like mine. I went out this morning to feed the horses and found a spoiled old mare, Satin, and Teddy, the shetland pony snoozing by my truck. Now the problem with this is that my truck is NOT parked in a paddock or the pasture or anywhere remotely where horses should be snoozing. I wake them up and put them both back in their proper places. Teddy had the good sense to appear guilty while Satin pretended it was all my fault. Fed everyone their breakfast then went back inside to deal with the two legged kids.

Then I get home in the evening and see Lulu, 5 month old filly, out by my truck. I get out of the van and notice that there is this big blackish horse in Chance's (my stallion) pen and a smallish quite good looking one running around with Sammy, arab gelding, and Teddy. Apparently at some point during the day Satin moved in with Chance (took down his gate and fencing - yes, it is old and needs to be replaced and not by hormonal old mares) and Chance decided he did not like the new living arrangements. He took off and moved in with the other 3. Lulu decided she did not like all the blustering and foolishness of the boys trying to one up each other so she took off. Smart for such a young girl isn't she?!

Anyway I got to rearrange everyone and fix fencing. This all had to be done in 45 minutes plus feeding so that I could get Miss S. back to her dance class that night. Nothing like a little pressure to get motivated. I have to admit it is nice owning a stallion that really is all show and blow and just does not want the girls to be a live-in arrangement. He likes them better on their side of the fence.

Flashbacks - well not really. Sometimes I wish I could. I was playing with N. (3yo) and he was giggling and squirming all over. Wanted to jump on the bed and then on mommy. At one point I am tickling his little belly and he is calling mommy "evil" in his little laughing voice (cannot imagine who taught him that word) and I flash on the fact that I missed this with S. I could just see her as a 3yo giggling and playing. She would have been a handful but ,oh, so much fun.

It was an interesting flash - a picture and a feeling but not really regret. Just that it would have been a blast to have been around S as a toddler. I sometimes envy those people that had her in their family at her earlier ages and alternately I am mad at them for not seeing her true beauty and making her go through so much before we found each other. But then, I would not be her mommy now if not for them so in my very grown up way tthhhhppphh! to them. I got the ultimate treasure and I get her for life!

Driving home from my mom's house (about a 45 minute drive) I have the following short conversation with my 10 yo daughter:

S : "mom?"

Me: "Yes"

S: "So when I get older will I be able to find my mom? Will they keep track of her?"

Me: "Well, honey, I don't know that they keep track of your mom but I am sure that you will be able to get her address when you are older so you can contact her."

S: "Oh, that's what I meant. Thanks mom!"

Then she goes back to watching a dvd. Yes, my Honda van is equipped for road trips.

Now I believe that I belong to a small and special group of people who can actually follow and understand that conversation. Interestingly enough I have never had a problem with being one of two moms. I hopefully understand the connection that S has with her bio mom and I hope she is not disappointed later in life when they do find each other again. I believe that S is definitely going to leave her mark on the world and I am sure that all of her family will be proud to be a part of her life.

So a litte background goes a long way. I am a single mom in her early 40's. I adopted my daughter (now age 10) at age 7 from Washington State. I adopted my son (age 3) from Guilin, China in April of 2006. Now I am on the road to yet another daughter in China. She will be Number 1 daughter's same age so this could be fun or a mine field. I will mention my nieces and nephews quite often since they are a large part of why I began my journey as a single parent to begin with.

I am just documenting my experiences not only as a single parent but as a single parent in Idaho. Hopefully my kids will forgive me when they are older.