48 hours - two days - Just a flash for most of us in our busy lives and yet for some a lifetime. At approximately 3pm Friday Little Girl Bear came into this world. She was huge, beautiful, and jet black with a big old star (almost a blaze) across her forehead. Bigger even than my colt that was 3 weeks old.

However, something was wrong. Her head bounced around on her neck and she could not stand. Her limbs awry and spastic. Totally out of her control and far beyond the normal for a newborn foal. Her mother stood in the corner watching her but making no moves toward her. I could tell she'd had a hard time with this birth - her first. She did not want anyone to touch her. Traumatic birth for her. I could not tell at first what had happen to Little Girl Bear - had she been kicked once on the ground; had mom kicked her when she went to nurse for the first time; had she had too much trauma in the birth canal (most likely)??

No real answers but what I could tell - this little one was a fighter. My thinking - if she wants to try her hardest then I would do my best for her. She could not stand on her own so I helped her. She could suck tho. My goodness this little one could suck. So I got out the foal formula and fed her through a syringe. She sucked so hard she actually pulled the plunger down on her own. I switched her to a bottle. I called the vet and ran up at 10pm that night and got the plasma to give to her the passive transfer of antibodies that she should have gotten from her dam's milk. During the next 48 hours there was feeding every 2-3 hours. I called the mare's owner - a friend from down the road. He came up to help. We got her up and standing on her own. By Saturday evening her dam, Bear, was trying to manueuver her into position to nurse on her. She was steadier and, dang, she ate!

For those of you that know horses you know that a foal that does not start life well generally does not make it. They are prey animals. They are born to get up, walk, and run within hours of birth. So we all knew there was a very good chance this little girl would not be with us long but she was so determined. So full of spunk. As soon as she heard voices she would roll up and start looking for us. She would struggle mightily to stand up on her own. So I knew when I went out to feed her Saturday night at midnight that there was something wrong. She rolled over and even ate quite a bit but she did not try to stand. It was like her short life had already tired her out immensely.

And that's how it went until Sunday afternoon. I would go out to feed her and she would want to eat but it was less and less each time and then she would close her eyes and rest again as if just that had taken so much out of her. Her final moments were between 4:20 and 4:40 pm on Sunday. I was with her until she took her last breath and her heart finally stopped beating. She was lying in the sun on a bed of sweet smelling hay and while she could no longer hear me I still spoke to her.

48 hours - truly a lifetime for Little Girl Bear. I do not know why this one has affected me so much. I have lost others both young and old for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps it is because she follows so closely on the heels of losing Smidge Midge (the poodle). Or maybe just the cumulation of so many "big" things happening in such a short span of time (for me 2-3 years not 2 days). I don't know . . . truly - I'm not that good at sorting emotions. But deep down her spirit and spunk and just plain will for living in even that short time has touched me and I feel her passing strongly.

My sincere hope is that she is now on her way to a grander adventure where she can run full out and enjoy the wind, the rain, and the sun as only a horse can do.

feeding time:

Nap in the sun - on top of mom's hay: